Sometimes practicing sucks.
It seems though that if you set your mind to focus on a certain area of growth, then either the universe gives you extra opportunities or you at least notice the ones that are there more acutely.
With the focus of our first wellness event here at The Cedars Ranch being on self-compassion I got handed a big juicy opportunity to practice.
I made an honest mistake but one that caused both Bill and I significant stress.
So, self-compassion takes work to nurture but I think for each of us there are areas where we can offer kindness and compassion to ourselves more readily. Perhaps you don’t have the “perfect” body, whatever that is, but you are really able to be okay with that.
Definitely there are areas where I have learned to be very self-compassionate. However, this recent mistake took me WAY out of my comfort zone. It was an all out war with my inner critic who was coming up with plenty of angles on how and why I should feel horrible.
This is a blog post for couples so let’s get to that angle. There are 2 amazing things that happened for us that just underline what your benefits can be as a couple when you practice self-compassion.
Bill is a kind and loving man but also one that has been actively practicing self-compassion and self-compassion-based meditation. My mistake caused plenty of stress for him. The first amazing thing was that in the middle of our shared crisis he was able to offer me kindness and compassion. Wow.
Secondly, he had the same tools to offer to himself to support his stress.
Self-compassion is absolutely a skill and practice for you and I as individuals. The incredible multiplier effect though when we both embrace this way of thinking, feeling and acting as couples is extremely powerful!
Sometimes you can hold that place of compassion for your partner while they work to get back there for themself. Sometimes they can hold that space of compassion for you.
What would it be like for you both if you were so steeped in compassion for self and each other that it started to become your first response?
What other energy and stress could you let go of?
The calmness that compassion brings sure lends itself to problem solving a whole lot easier than anger and defensiveness.
Your journey to fiercely embrace more self-compassion and unplug your inner critic will look different than your partner’s journey. Likely you will be able to offer compassion to your partner in areas that they struggle with still, and vice versa.
What better gift could you give each other?
Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading pioneer in this field offers this resource to test your self-compassion:
Join us April 27 at The Cedars Ranch for the self-compassion event of the year, Fierce Self-Compassion: Unplug Your Inner Critic, with special keynote speaker Dr. Kristin Neff, pioneering researcher in self-compassion from the University of Texas. Learn proven strategies to cultivate emotional well-being, build inner strength and thrive in our lives, in the nurturing and life-giving environment of the Texas Hill Country.
Get Your Tickets Today!
Until next time,
The Luv Life Coach
Marilyn Orr, MA, CEC, PCC is a relationship coach with Luv Life Coaching, passionate about equipping couples with the tools for real and lasting intimacy. Be proactive in your relationships so you can stay ahead of the problem. Learn how to listen better, handle conflict in productive ways and bring out the best in your partner. Reach Out to Marilyn and grow your Luv Life skills today!
Marilyn is hosting her next Couples Workshop on Saturday, June 8 at The Cedars Ranch. To find out more and to register, click here: Couples Workshop at The Cedars Ranch
Posted on Thu, April 18, 2019
by Marilyn Orr filed under