Helping Each Other Through Stresses

Often in life the people closest to us know how stressed we are before we do. The ironic part about stress is that often our own reaction to stress causes more stress than the original stressor.

There are unlimited ways to react to stress and there are unlimited causes of stress. That being said there are some basic principles that we can get to.

Let’s start with some common reactions to being stressed:

  • Withdrawing from other - emotionally, socially, physically

  • Becoming hyper-focused and driven

  • Becoming more verbal and chatty

  • Looking to be rescued and feeling personally paralyzed and overwhelmed

  • Embracing aggression as a way to feel more powerful

  • Forgetfulness and inability to focus

  • Turning to comfort eating or any other addiction that brings comfort

  • Becoming controlling of one’s environment and/or nearby people

All of these, and there are many more, can bring some short-term relief and some make way for healthy changes and access to resources to help with the original stress. However, all too often how to choose to deal with our stress leads to further complications.

Now, let’s really complicate it by putting two people together in a close relationship. Yikes. This can get tricky and quickly!

How we have experienced others in our family when they were stressed growing up really factors in here in big ways. Let me share an example from my own life to illustrate. My Dad in his extreme dysfunction passive-aggressively used ‘the silent treatment’ when he was mad about something. This went way beyond needing space to process something. As a result, I used to interpret the need for space and silence by the introverts in my life as anger.

Now, let’s look at my responses to stress. I’m very extroverted so socializing, talking and connecting to people are ways that I often react to stress.

Let’s put this together:

1) Introvert A needs space and quiet.

2) Extrovert B (i.e. Marilyn) spikes in stress level because her brain is interpreting the quiet and withdrawal as a personal statement and that said Introvert A is angry with her.

3) Without even necessarily being conscious of this dynamic Marilyn copes with her stress by trying to engage Introvert A in conversation, making the mood lighter, etc.

4) Now Introvert A, who may not have even been stressed before is. They begin to engage their favorite stress response, which is likely to include withdrawal.

You can easily see how these stress responses can so quickly spiral and impact both people. We haven’t even had to have an initial stress for the cycle to start.

So then, how do we break these unproductive cycles and help each other through stresses instead of making it worse?

What I had to learn, the hard way, was to notice when I might be making assumptions and ask questions instead of charging full speed ahead.

Here are some great questions to ask when you notice yourself or your partner exhibiting stress symptoms:

  • What would help you the most right now?

  • How can I support you best?

  • Who besides me can help you?

  • What is one thing you would like me to do more of in the next few days?

  • What is one thing you would like me to do less of?

  • I’m reacting to you like you are stressed, are you?

  • I’m feeling stressed but don’t know what I need: can you help me talk this through?

Owning our own stress and our response to it goes a long long way. Know what you need, know what you don’t need and practice telling your partner and others close to you what would be most helpful.

Until next time,

Marilyn Orr, The Luv Life Coach

Marilyn Orr, MA, CEC, PCC is a relationship coach with Luv Life Coaching, passionate about equipping couples with the tools for real and lasting intimacy.

Is Luv Life Coaching an appropriate next step for you? Take our online questionnaire to find out: http://luvlifecoaching.com/questionnaire

12 comments (Add your own)

1. Jeaeagemo wrote:
Levitra And Food Package Insert Amoxicillin Teva Pharaceuticals Medicaments Cialis Prix tadalafil cialis from india Pharmacy Shop Buy Cialis Cialis Su Ebay Amoxicillin Dosages Cialis Dosis Cialis Kaufen Duisburg Nizoral Canada viagra Propecia Epilobio Andorra Calis Alternative Propecia Uno De Cincuenta Propecia Cigartec Meprate Cytotec Contre Indications Viagra Wirkung Wann Buy Prednisolone On Line Acheter Du Cialis Avec Ordonnance buy cialis Cialis 20 Mg Efficacia Viagra Et Effets Indesirables Viagra Forum Wirkung Cheap Viagra Next Day Delivery Diabetes Y Propecia viagra vs cialis Donde Comprar Viagra Para Mujeres

Tue, December 25, 2018 @ 11:22 PM

2. MELANIE JAXSON wrote:
DON,T IGNORE THIS WHAT AM ABOUT TO WRITE IS 100% REAL LIFE STORY THIS IS HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK HOME TO ME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER DR PETER CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Hello Everyone my name is jaxson melanie from USA. I got married ten years ago to a loving husband we had two kids. We had the best home until my husband started behaving awkwardly. it was then i discovered that he was seeing another woman. our marriage moved from bad to worse until he eventually left the home living me with the kids. He took away my home and happiness. i had lived with sorrow, rejection and pain ever since then. on till a friend of my Linda told me about DR. PETER who helped her when she had same problems with her husband. she told me he could solve all marital and health problems. we contacted him and i narrated my story to him. so he promised to help me do a love spell to help me get him back home to me. so after 24hours he was done with the spell and my husband called me on and told me that he is very sorry for all he has done to me. now my husband is back home to me permanently. all thanks to DR. PETER who gave me back my home and happiness. You can also contact him for your marital and health problem contact DR. PETER through his email address:
[email protected]
[email protected] or call/whatsapp him via +1(321)754-0649 website http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.website2.me or blog http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com
and get your problems solved 100% assured.

Sun, February 10, 2019 @ 12:43 PM

3. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Mon, February 11, 2019 @ 6:11 AM

4. emily wrote:
Good day everyone my name is Emily from salt lake city and am here to share the wonderful work of SUPREMELORDZAKUZA after 2 years of marriage my husband left me and my kids,my husband started acting weird and going out with different ladies and showed me cold love,on several occasions he threaten to divorce me ,he even threaten to kill me if i dare question him about his affair with other ladies,i was totally devastated and confused until i told a friend of mine and she told me about A WEST AFRICAN MAN ,who help people with their relationship and marriage problems by the power of VOODOO LOVE SPELL, at first i doubted if such thing really do exists but decided to give it a try,when i contact him, he helped me cast a love spell and told me that my husband will come to me apologizing ,and certainly on the 11th day of February 2019 my husband came back to me..please if you have any problem contact this great and powerful spell caster for your relationship and marriage problems to be solved.
Email: [email protected]
whats App: +2348134895476

Thu, February 14, 2019 @ 5:35 AM

5. joan wrote:
hi everyone my name is Joan and am here to share the wonderful work of Dr zadzad.after 5 years of marriage my husband left me and my 2 kids,my husband started acting weird and going out with another ladies and showed me cold love,on several occasions he threaten to divorce me ,he even threaten to kill me if dare question him about is affair with another laddies,i was totally devastated and confused until i told a friend of mine and my friend told me about an Africa man,who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the power of love spells, at first i doubted if such thing really do exists but decided to give it a try,when i contact him, he help me cast a love spell and within 48hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing ,please if you have a problems contact this powerful spell caster for your relationship and marriage problems contact him on whats-app on +2348135414466 or via email [email protected]

Thu, February 14, 2019 @ 5:37 AM

6. angelina wrote:
Hello my name is Susan am from Califonia, Am here to share the wonderful testimony of LORD OMINIMINI on how he helped my relationship. my husband and i have been seperated for a year and about three months because my husband has been going out with other women. I decided to inform a friend about it who told me about the great LORD OMINIMI who helped me to cast a love spell on my husband ,he actually told me to wait That my husband will come apologizing i waited as he said .yesterday feburary 12 2019 my husband came to me , And started apolozising for his mistakes. Am here to share this great testimony if you have such relationship and marriage problem kindly contact him.
EMAIL:[email protected]
WhatsApp/call: +2349038807093

Thu, February 14, 2019 @ 5:37 AM

7. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Fri, February 15, 2019 @ 3:41 AM

8. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Fri, February 15, 2019 @ 3:42 AM

9. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Fri, February 15, 2019 @ 3:42 AM

10. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Fri, February 15, 2019 @ 3:42 AM

11. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Fri, February 15, 2019 @ 3:42 AM

12. Mason Jassem wrote:
HOW I GOT MY WIFE BACK HOME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE ONLINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649.



Sir, thank you so much for your real genuine spell,my wife is back!!

I am very happy to recommend Dr. Peter to everybody that truly need help to fix his or her broken relationship and marriage. When I found Dr. Peter online I was in desperate need of help to bring my ex lover back. She left me for another man. It all happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. she just left me after 3 years of our of marriage without no explanation. so was very worried and could not eat till i went online and i found testimonies on DR peter so i decided to contact Dr. Peter through his whatsapp and i explain everything to him so he help me cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did the spell, my wife started texting and calling me again. She said that she was sorry and said that I was the most important person in her life and she knows that now. you can Email Dr Peter now for urgent help [email protected] and [email protected] Or CALL or whatsApp: +1(321)754-0649

Read more on his website: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.website2.me and blog http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com all thanks to Dr peter he can also help solve different problems like getting pregnant, lottery and money spell, cure for all kind of sickness and disease e.t.c contact Dr peter today and get your problem solved 100% guaranteed and assured.

Sun, February 17, 2019 @ 3:17 PM

Add a New Comment


code
 

Comment Guidelines: No HTML is allowed. Off-topic or inappropriate comments will be edited or deleted. Thanks.

Copyright © 2015 LUV Life Coaching LLC | All Rights Reserved.