5 Critical Elements For Conflict Resolution

You know when you’ve goofed up and all you want to do is get out of the doghouse. What next?

I sure did not grow up watching great conflict resolution. Quite the opposite. In fact my Dad used to tell my Mom that he would never use the words “I’m sorry”, and I’m betting he never did.

So, how do we repair our relationship after we have done something damaging? I’m sure there are a million creative ways - here’s a link to the best “apology songs”: https://www.billboard.com/photos/7949832/sorry-songs-apology

There are some critical elements though that matter, elements that make the difference in the long-term.

1. Acknowledge that something is wrong between the two of you.

At this point you may not even know what happened to upset the other person. It is enough to know something doesn’t feel right in order to start this conversation.

2. As much as possible, stay un-defensive while you ask for details about what happened.

I know, easier said than done right?! How do we do this? Well, focus on really wanting to love your partner well. The more you are able to listen and learn what they need and where you may need to grow, the better a relationship you will both enjoy. One of the best techniques to reduce defensiveness is to decide before you even start to listen that you will not be responding until later. This means you ask details, you ask for more, like how your actions impacted your partner but you leave your response out. Listen thoroughly without justifying, explaining, or blaming. Tell your partner before starting to listen that you want to listen well and will not be responding until later so that you can really hear them.

3. Take time to reflect on what you heard before responding. 

Letting your reaction to what you heard shift from wanting to justify and protect yourself to being willing to consider your partner’s point of view can take time. Ask yourself some questions like: “Have I had this kind of feedback before? From other people?” or “How is my partner different from me that would make what I did/said painful for them?”

4. Prepare what you want to say. 

I’m not saying read a statement, that isn’t very personal. However, taking time to write out thoughts about how you want to love your partner better, about areas you want to grow in and about what specifically you are sorry for. A blanket “I’m sorry” really doesn’t do much. Apologies need to be specific and need to be offered after really understanding the impact of your actions. Writing out your thoughts lets you process them more and therefore you will be better prepared to say what you really want to say to your partner.

5. Find a good time to talk. 

One of the best techniques for better resolution is to find a time that is good for both of you. This allows emotions to calm and removes both distractions and other factors that could make your talk more difficult. I used to believe that things had to be dealt with and resolved right away. Not true and that is often not the preferred conflict resolutions style for both people.

This process takes more work than just saying “sorry” but the benefits for both of you are huge! The best relationships are not those with out conflict, they are those that have the power tools to deal effectively with it and grow as a result.

Until next time,

Marilyn

Marilyn Orr, The Luv Life Coach

Marilyn Orr, MA, CEC, PCC is a relationship coach with Luv Life Coaching, passionate about equipping couples with the tools for real and lasting intimacy.

Is Luv Life Coaching an appropriate next step for you? Take our online questionnaire to find out: http://luvlifecoaching.com/questionnaire

10 comments (Add your own)

1. Jeaeagemo wrote:
Cialis Funzionamento Dose Amoxicillin Child Domperidone Illegal order levitra from canada Cialis Canada Pharmacy Online Propecia Rogaine Benefits Cialis Nachteile Order Diflucan Overnight Purchase Amoxycillin 25o Mg New Healthly Man cialis Buy Vardenafil Online Cheap Online Renova Buy Prix Du Cytotec Au Maroc Rogaine Y Propecia Prescriptions Amoxicillin Buy Levitra Online Cheap Venta Kamagra Farmacia Vente Levitra Pas Tadalis Sx Soft Side Effect Headaches Does Keflex Cause Yeast Infections Zentel With Free Shipping cialis 5 mg Order Doxycycline Online Uk Cialis Soft Pas Cher Will Amoxicillin Help Kennel Cough mail order isotretinoin Aurora comparatif viagra cialis levitra Buy Clomid 100mg Uk Kamagra Medicine

Sun, December 30, 2018 @ 4:49 PM

2. MELANIE JAXSON wrote:
DON,T IGNORE THIS WHAT AM ABOUT TO WRITE IS 100% REAL LIFE STORY THIS IS HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK HOME TO ME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE SPELL CASTER DR PETER CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Hello Everyone my name is jaxson melanie from USA. I got married ten years ago to a loving husband we had two kids. We had the best home until my husband started behaving awkwardly. it was then i discovered that he was seeing another woman. our marriage moved from bad to worse until he eventually left the home living me with the kids. He took away my home and happiness. i had lived with sorrow, rejection and pain ever since then. on till a friend of my Linda told me about DR. PETER who helped her when she had same problems with her husband. she told me he could solve all marital and health problems. we contacted him and i narrated my story to him. so he promised to help me do a love spell to help me get him back home to me. so after 24hours he was done with the spell and my husband called me on and told me that he is very sorry for all he has done to me. now my husband is back home to me permanently. all thanks to DR. PETER who gave me back my home and happiness. You can also contact him for your marital and health problem contact DR. PETER through his email address:
[email protected]
[email protected] or call/whatsapp him via +1(321)754-0649 website http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.website2.me or blog http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com
and get your problems solved 100% assured.

Sun, February 10, 2019 @ 12:42 PM

3. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Mon, February 11, 2019 @ 6:07 AM

4. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Mon, February 11, 2019 @ 6:11 AM

5. emily wrote:
Good day everyone my name is Emily from salt lake city and am here to share the wonderful work of SUPREMELORDZAKUZA after 2 years of marriage my husband left me and my kids,my husband started acting weird and going out with different ladies and showed me cold love,on several occasions he threaten to divorce me ,he even threaten to kill me if i dare question him about his affair with other ladies,i was totally devastated and confused until i told a friend of mine and she told me about A WEST AFRICAN MAN ,who help people with their relationship and marriage problems by the power of VOODOO LOVE SPELL, at first i doubted if such thing really do exists but decided to give it a try,when i contact him, he helped me cast a love spell and told me that my husband will come to me apologizing ,and certainly on the 11th day of February 2019 my husband came back to me..please if you have any problem contact this great and powerful spell caster for your relationship and marriage problems to be solved.
Email: [email protected]
whats App: +2348134895476

Thu, February 14, 2019 @ 5:31 AM

6. joan wrote:
hi everyone my name is Joan and am here to share the wonderful work of Dr zadzad.after 5 years of marriage my husband left me and my 2 kids,my husband started acting weird and going out with another ladies and showed me cold love,on several occasions he threaten to divorce me ,he even threaten to kill me if dare question him about is affair with another laddies,i was totally devastated and confused until i told a friend of mine and my friend told me about an Africa man,who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the power of love spells, at first i doubted if such thing really do exists but decided to give it a try,when i contact him, he help me cast a love spell and within 48hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing ,please if you have a problems contact this powerful spell caster for your relationship and marriage problems contact him on whats-app on +2348135414466 or via email [email protected]

Thu, February 14, 2019 @ 5:32 AM

7. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Fri, February 15, 2019 @ 3:40 AM

8. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Fri, February 15, 2019 @ 3:40 AM

9. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Fri, February 15, 2019 @ 3:40 AM

10. Mason Jassem wrote:
HOW I GOT MY WIFE BACK HOME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE ONLINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649.



Sir, thank you so much for your real genuine spell,my wife is back!!

I am very happy to recommend Dr. Peter to everybody that truly need help to fix his or her broken relationship and marriage. When I found Dr. Peter online I was in desperate need of help to bring my ex lover back. She left me for another man. It all happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. she just left me after 3 years of our of marriage without no explanation. so was very worried and could not eat till i went online and i found testimonies on DR peter so i decided to contact Dr. Peter through his whatsapp and i explain everything to him so he help me cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did the spell, my wife started texting and calling me again. She said that she was sorry and said that I was the most important person in her life and she knows that now. you can Email Dr Peter now for urgent help [email protected] and [email protected] Or CALL or whatsApp: +1(321)754-0649

Read more on his website: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.website2.me and blog http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com all thanks to Dr peter he can also help solve different problems like getting pregnant, lottery and money spell, cure for all kind of sickness and disease e.t.c contact Dr peter today and get your problem solved 100% guaranteed and assured.

Sun, February 17, 2019 @ 3:17 PM

Add a New Comment


code
 

Comment Guidelines: No HTML is allowed. Off-topic or inappropriate comments will be edited or deleted. Thanks.

Copyright © 2015 LUV Life Coaching LLC | All Rights Reserved.