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5 Principles For Making Fights More Productive

We’ve all done it, pick a fight over nothing. Be it from a lack of sleep, being “hangry” or simply having too much stress can result in us being grumpy.

These moments can lead to hurtful and unproductive fights.

So, how do we know when it’s time to drop something and when it’s time to start a tough conversation?

Here’s an interesting article on what young couples are fighting about, and how important these fights can be: "9 Fights Every 20-Something Couple Has That Actually Prove You're Healthy

The unhealthy things that find their way into our lives if left unchecked, can be the seeds of significant destruction to our relationship. 

Here are some principles to consider and some questions to ask yourself and each other:

1. Is there a pattern that is not healthy for your relationship? It is worth bringing up! Fight for your relationship. How can you talk about what you are noticing together to learn from it and create strategies to move forward differently?

2. Is there an imbalance in your relationship that leaves one of you not practicing good self-care? Is one of you carrying too much of the weight in a certain area of what should be shared responsibilities?

3. Have you separately or together developed an unhealthy habit that needs to change? This can be so many different things - working too much, drinking too often, eating junk too often, etc. How can you support each other towards being healthier? Without judging each other, what can you talk about patterns so that you can make better choices? What additional resources would be helpful?

4. Have you been speaking each other’s love languages enough lately? What do you want and need more of from each other?

5. Where are things out of balance with other significant relationships in your lives? Do you need more time with friends? Less time with friends and more focused couple time?

“Fights” can be the start to important resets. A fight doesn’t have to be accusatory or damaging. It really can be simply a chance to tell each other how we are feeling about specific things and letting our partner know the impact that patterns, situations and incidents are having on us.

What makes fights most productive is when we can both look at what we are contributing that has been unhelpful or unhealthy for the relationship or each other AND look at what strengths and gifts we have that can bring positive change and contribute to your growth as a couple.

So often it is through the tough patches that we get our most growth. The tough conversations that we choose to have with our partners can truly allow our relationship to deepen to the next level of intimacy and maturity.

What’s next for you? What conversation can help strengthen your relationship?

Until next time,

Marilyn Orr, The Luv Life Coach

Marilyn Orr, MA, CEC, PCC is a relationship coach with Luv Life Coaching, passionate about equipping couples with the tools for real and lasting intimacy.

Be proactive in your relationships so you can stay ahead of the problem. Learn how to listen better, handle conflict in productive ways and how to bring out the best in your partner. Reach Out to Marilyn and grow your Luv Life skills today!

Subscribe to Marilyn’s “Luv Life Blog” for twice monthly relationship advice and love life guidance blog posts straight to your inbox.

13 comments (Add your own)

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Hello Everyone my name is jaxson melanie from USA. I got married ten years ago to a loving husband we had two kids. We had the best home until my husband started behaving awkwardly. it was then i discovered that he was seeing another woman. our marriage moved from bad to worse until he eventually left the home living me with the kids. He took away my home and happiness. i had lived with sorrow, rejection and pain ever since then. on till a friend of my Linda told me about DR. PETER who helped her when she had same problems with her husband. she told me he could solve all marital and health problems. we contacted him and i narrated my story to him. so he promised to help me do a love spell to help me get him back home to me. so after 24hours he was done with the spell and my husband called me on and told me that he is very sorry for all he has done to me. now my husband is back home to me permanently. all thanks to DR. PETER who gave me back my home and happiness. You can also contact him for your marital and health problem contact DR. PETER through his email address:
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Sun, February 10, 2019 @ 12:37 PM

3. Amaya Nicole wrote:
HOW I GOT MY EX LOVER BACK WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER. CONTACT ON WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
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Mon, February 11, 2019 @ 6:00 AM

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Thu, February 14, 2019 @ 4:49 AM

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Thu, February 14, 2019 @ 4:50 AM

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Thu, February 14, 2019 @ 4:51 AM

7. Amaya Nicole wrote:
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Good day ladies and gentle men, MY NAME IS AMAYA NYCOLE from UNITED STATE i want to give thanks to the great Dr Peter for bringing back my lover in a twinkle of an eye after been deceived by so many fake spell casters online who claim to be spell casters. But with the help of Dr Peter my prayers came through by him bringing back my ex lover to me within 24 hours which other spell casters could not do. I want to say a big thank you to Dr Peter for bringing back my happiness to me and if there is anybody who is in need of help i will advice you to contact Dr Peter for help as soon as possible because he will surely restore your lost joy. CONTACT THIS GREAT DR PETER TODAY FOR ANY KIND OF PROBLEM SOLUTION AND GET YOUR PROBELEM SOLVED 1OO% GUARANTEED AND ASSURED THANK YOU DR PETER. His private email:
[email protected]

[email protected]

CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649

my youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV04v3z2GA0

His websites: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME

Fri, February 15, 2019 @ 3:34 AM

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I am very happy to recommend Dr. Peter to everybody that truly need help to fix his or her broken relationship and marriage. When I found Dr. Peter online I was in desperate need of help to bring my ex lover back. She left me for another man. It all happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. she just left me after 3 years of our of marriage without no explanation. so was very worried and could not eat till i went online and i found testimonies on DR peter so i decided to contact Dr. Peter through his whatsapp and i explain everything to him so he help me cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did the spell, my wife started texting and calling me again. She said that she was sorry and said that I was the most important person in her life and she knows that now. you can Email Dr Peter now for urgent help [email protected] and [email protected] Or CALL or whatsApp: +1(321)754-0649

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Sun, February 17, 2019 @ 3:12 PM

9. Mason Jassem wrote:
HOW I GOT MY WIFE BACK HOME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE ONLINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649.



Sir, thank you so much for your real genuine spell,my wife is back!!

I am very happy to recommend Dr. Peter to everybody that truly need help to fix his or her broken relationship and marriage. When I found Dr. Peter online I was in desperate need of help to bring my ex lover back. She left me for another man. It all happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. she just left me after 3 years of our of marriage without no explanation. so was very worried and could not eat till i went online and i found testimonies on DR peter so i decided to contact Dr. Peter through his whatsapp and i explain everything to him so he help me cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did the spell, my wife started texting and calling me again. She said that she was sorry and said that I was the most important person in her life and she knows that now. you can Email Dr Peter now for urgent help [email protected] and [email protected] Or CALL or whatsApp: +1(321)754-0649

Read more on his website: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.website2.me and blog http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com all thanks to Dr peter he can also help solve different problems like getting pregnant, lottery and money spell, cure for all kind of sickness and disease e.t.c contact Dr peter today and get your problem solved 100% guaranteed and assured.

Sun, February 17, 2019 @ 3:13 PM

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You can as well contact Dr. Todd, a powerful spell-caster for solutions on his contact [email protected] website:https://manifestspellcast.wordpress.com WhatsApp: +27613087679

Tue, February 19, 2019 @ 3:37 AM

11. Lindsey Gabrielle wrote:
My Name is Lindsey Gabrielle, I want to say a big thanks to the man who brought my Husband back to me. I’m so excited my broken Marriage has been restored and my ex-husband is back after he left me and our 2kids for another woman. I was so happy to meet Prophet Abulele how he helps many people to bring their Lover back so I contact him to help me too. that was how Prophet Abulele help me to bring my husband back. A big thank to you Prophet Abulele because I never thought my ex Husband will be back to me so quickly with your spell. You are the best and world greatest. if you are here and you need your Ex-Lover back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: ([email protected]) and You can also Call/WhatsApp:+2349022406159

Wed, February 20, 2019 @ 10:25 AM

12. Natasha Wanderly form USA wrote:
heal from broken heart" Love spell from dr.Unity brought my husband back"contact [email protected] to help you get your Ex lover back urgently after breakup/divorce"
After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he could come back to me, I was really worried and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 11hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity is real spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your ex lover back or save your marriage fast. Do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster Dr.Unity now. Here’s his contact: Call/WhatsApp him: +2348071622464 ,Email him at: [email protected] , Website:https://unityspelltemples.blogspot.com ,Your kindness will never be forgotten.

Natasha Wanderly form USA.

Wed, February 20, 2019 @ 11:54 PM

13. Natasha Wanderly form USA wrote:
heal from broken heart" Love spell from dr.Unity brought my husband back"contact [email protected] to help you get your Ex lover back urgently after breakup/divorce"
After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he could come back to me, I was really worried and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 11hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity is real spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your ex lover back or save your marriage fast. Do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster Dr.Unity now. Here’s his contact: Call/WhatsApp him: +2348071622464 ,Email him at: [email protected] , Website:https://unityspelltemples.blogspot.com ,Your kindness will never be forgotten.

Natasha Wanderly form USA.

Wed, February 20, 2019 @ 11:56 PM

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