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Emotional Intelligence for Couples: Part 5 Managing Stress

Today is the last in our mini-series on emotional intelligence for couples. 

All of the separate skills we have talked about matter but today’s topic relates to overall well-being in critical ways. Today we talk about how well you are managing stress. We all know that when we are too stressed and not coping well, little else seems to matter. High levels of stress can be very debilitating which obviously has a major impact on key relationships. 

Let’s dive in to today’s three topics. 

1. Flexibility

Change is highly stressful to many people. Change that we did not initiate ourselves in particular. This emotional intelligence skill is about being able to make adjustments as need be in the big 3 - emotions, behaviors and thinking. 

As part of a couple my ability to adjust, or not, has big impacts on both me and my partner. If I cannot cope well with changes that happen then my partner is needing to also cope with how I’m doing in addition to their own reactions. This is a normal part of partnership but the better each person gets at being flexible, the easier for both of you. 

So then, how do we adjust my thinking to be more flexible? 

Learning to ‘reframe’ is a fantastic skill. This is taking time to look at a situation from a different perspective. Sometimes this seems easy later on but it is an amazing skill to have to use in real time. Perhaps a change happens and all I can see is the loss that it means to me. Working on thinking includes an honest evaluation of the loss but also time to look at other possible impacts might be, including some good things. What benefits will this change allow for? (This can take time, for sure!) 

Another way to impact thinking is to put the circumstance back in to perspective. Somedays the smallest thing can feel huge. This is usually a sign of how depleted we are. A good night’s sleep, some exercise, some fun, etc. may really help with perspective. 

Being able to notice the signs of depletion in each other and kindly suggest something that will help fill your partner’s “tank” is helpful. 

How do we adjust how we feel about something? 

It is not by minimizing or ignoring our feelings. That just sends our emotions underground. 

Adjusting feelings starts with acknowledging the current feelings. This can be journalling, talking to a friend, sharing them with your partner, etc. The best way to better emotions in a situation is through the current ones. Looking for possible benefits to a change from a thinking perspective will also benefit emotions. 

Behavior adjustments are so much easier to make when both the thinking and emotions have been addressed first. However, sometimes we just know the right thing to do to be flexible and adaptive and can do it whether we feel like it or not. 

The behavior reaction may be simply a choice to practice self-care that will help us cope with unwanted changes, etc. 

2. Tolerating Stress

This scale measures the belief in oneself to deal with difficult circumstances and changes successfully. 

If I don’t think I can handle stress I will look inappropriately to my partner to carry some of my load for me. In healthy relationships we learn to carry our own appropriate level of stress and gladly receive help for the extra from friends, family and our partner. (Healthy inter-dependence versus co-dependence.) 

This is about resilience. To tolerate stress I need to know what I uniquely need to re-fuel and I need to take ownership of doing those things. “I’m the boss of me” and only I can do those things I need to be able to deal with my current stress level. 

3. Optimism

As overused as it is, this really is the ‘glass half-full’ expression. It is about being able to see possibility. It is having hope for the future and not landing in the pit of despair when tough things happen. 

Optimism requires looking beyond the current difficulty to the bigger picture and seeing good things coming and expecting positive. 

Depending on how you grew up this can be hard. Know this, to make it in to the emotional intelligence skills list it is something you can grow in. 

If this is an area of challenge for you practicing catching yourself making a very negative, deflating statement can be a cue for you to also take time to state other possibilities. Asking your partner to do this with you may be really beneficial to you as a couple. 

Until next time, 

Marilyn Orr, The Luv Life Coach

Marilyn Orr, MA, CEC, PCC is a relationship coach with Luv Life Coaching, passionate about equipping couples with the tools for real and lasting intimacy.

Be proactive in your relationships so you can stay ahead of the problem. Learn how to listen better, handle conflict in productive ways and how to bring out the best in your partner. Reach Out to Marilyn and grow your Luv Life skills today!

Subscribe to Marilyn’s “Luv Life Blog” for twice monthly relationship advice and love life guidance blog posts straight to your inbox: http://ow.ly/i0FJ30eNj3x

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After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he could come back to me, I was really worried and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 11hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity is real spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your ex lover back or save your marriage fast. Do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster Dr.Unity now. Here’s his contact: Call/WhatsApp him: +2348071622464 ,Email him at: [email protected] , Website:https://unityspelltemples.blogspot.com ,Your kindness will never be forgotten.

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I have been in a relationship with my then ex (we broke up for 3 months) since 2015. It was a happy and very active relationship with lots of fun and travelling. We love each other endlessly and we shared a lot. His family was my family and my family his.

Few months back he started being controlling and possessive:
I told him that I don’t feel comfortable with his new behavior, he apologized and promised to work on himself. But he failed on his promises, this time it escalated to him being manipulative. He accuses me of cheating on him at work. Eventually, I’ll be the one apologizing for something I didn’t do. I broke up when I couldn’t take it any longer.

I got a stranger email address from a website that changed my story:
I asked the stranger for help to fix my relationship, I told him that my problem was that I am still in love with this guy and I know he loves me too but he has a huge ego, his ego is enormous. I know I am the one who did the breaking up but my heart was hoping for him to say to me ‘I’m sorry baby, I apologize for how I have made you feel these past years, I will seek help and fix myself so that we can fix us’

The stranger is Dr. Wakina, his email; [email protected]
Dr. Wakina showered his healing powers to us through his powerful love spell. Our relationship was fixed as he provided the much-needed help to us. Our destiny was changed for good.

Wed, February 27, 2019 @ 10:21 AM

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Wed, February 27, 2019 @ 8:09 PM

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After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he could come back to me, I was really worried and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 11hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity is real spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your ex lover back or save your marriage fast. Do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster Dr.Unity now. Here’s his contact: Call/WhatsApp him: +2348071622464 ,Email him at: [email protected] , Website:https://unityspelltemples.blogspot.com ,Your kindness will never be forgotten.

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Thu, February 28, 2019 @ 10:31 PM

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Sat, March 2, 2019 @ 9:55 PM

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Sun, March 3, 2019 @ 4:29 PM

20. Florence Cedric wrote:
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Hello, I am Florence Cedric.i leave at 315 St Germain Ave Toronto ON M5M 1W4(Toronto ,Ontario) After i have been in a relationship with my husband for years, he broke up with me. I did everything possible to get back to him but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because i loved him. so i explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that helped her cast a spell that got her pregnant and brought her husband back.I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster on whatsapp and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay.so He cast the spell for me and surprisingly after 48hours, my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.so anyone who need help on any kind of problems can also contact this real and very genuine spell caster on Whatsapp/call +1(321)754-0649 or mail him via [email protected] and [email protected] or you can read more about this great spell caster on his website http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.WEBSITE2.ME contact this great man today and get your problems solved 100%

Mon, March 4, 2019 @ 6:23 PM

21. Mason Jassem wrote:
HOW I GOT MY WIFE BACK HOME WITH THE HELP OF A REAL AND GENUINE ONLINE LOVE SPELL CASTER DR PETER CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649.



Sir, thank you so much for your real genuine spell,my wife is back!!

I am very happy to recommend Dr. Peter to everybody that truly need help to fix his or her broken relationship and marriage. When I found Dr. Peter online I was in desperate need of help to bring my ex lover back. She left me for another man. It all happened so fast and I had no say in the situation at all. she just left me after 3 years of our of marriage without no explanation. so was very worried and could not eat till i went online and i found testimonies on DR peter so i decided to contact Dr. Peter through his whatsapp and i explain everything to him so he help me cast a love spell to help us get back together. Shortly after he did the spell, my wife started texting and calling me again. She said that she was sorry and said that I was the most important person in her life and she knows that now. you can Email Dr Peter now for urgent help [email protected] and [email protected] Or CALL or whatsApp: +1(321)754-0649

Read more on his website: http://MAGNIFICENTSPELLCAST.website2.me and blog http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com all thanks to Dr peter he can also help solve different problems like getting pregnant, lottery and money spell, cure for all kind of sickness and disease e.t.c contact Dr peter today and get your problem solved 100% guaranteed and assured.

Thu, March 7, 2019 @ 5:40 PM

22. Kelly Hoey wrote:
My girlfriend and i were happy as far i could tell and i never thought that we would break up. When her cousin died in a tragic car accident she went to her family in Mexico for a week. i couldnt go because i was in the middle of entertaining out of town clients for work. She did not seem to be upset that i could not go so i let her be. The next thing i knew, she reconnected with an old friend from high school that she had a crush on years back and they started to have an affair! i had no clue what was going on until she came back from Mexico. She proceeded to see this old friend and i caught her and her old friend one night hugging each other. i confronted her and she told me the truth about what happened. We broke up and went our separate ways. Neither of us fought for our relationship. i was angry and decided not to be upset about it and just keep it moving. Then after about few months of no contact with her i became sad. i wanted her to tell me she wanted to be with me and not her old friend. i contacted Dr.Muna for a love spell and he truly helped me! he was able to get her to miss me she wanted us to get back together again. She had lot of regrets and felt bad for not fighting to keep me and for cheating in generally. she cherish our relationship so much more now and we are together now! You can also get your lover back with the help of Dr.Muna email iD: [email protected] com whatsapp number +2348071660388

Sat, March 9, 2019 @ 1:12 AM

23. Clara James wrote:
GREAT LOVE SPELL CASTER PRIEST WISDOM THAT HELP ME SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP.TEXT OR ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP: +2348124644470

My name is CLARA JAMES .i want to give thanks to PRIEST WISDOM for bringing back my ex husband.No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Trust is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person,It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he brake up with me again.I was confuse and do not no what to do again,rather them to get in contact with PRIEST WISDOM . He did a love spell that make my husband come back to me. we are now very much happy with our self. PRIEST WISDOM make him to realize how much we love and need each other.This man is for REAL and for good.he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well,in our love life.contact email [email protected] or his web page http://supernaturalspell1.blogspot.com/ text or add him up on whatsApp at: +2348124644470

Sun, March 10, 2019 @ 8:13 PM

24. Miller Moore wrote:
OMG!! This is certainly a shocking and a genuine Testimony..I visited a forum here on the internet on the 20TH OF JUNE 2014, And i saw a marvelous testimony of this heard nor learnt anything about magic before.. Not a soul would have been able to influence me about magical spells, not until DR OSAUYI did it for me and restored my marriage of 8 years back to me and brought my spouse back to me in the same 24 hours just as i read on the internet..i was truly astonished and shocked when my husband knelt down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept him back.. I am really short of expressions, and i don't know how much to convey my appreciation to you DR OSAUYI you are a God sent to me and my entire family

Email: [email protected]
Email [email protected]

Wed, March 13, 2019 @ 2:47 PM

25. LINA ATCHLEY wrote:
HOW I GOT MY FAMILY AND MY MARRIAGE BACK WITH THE HELP OF DR PETER
CALL/WHATSAPP +1(321)754-0649


Good day Everyone I am very happy today with my family. My name is Lina atchley. My
husband left me for a year and 6 months now he does not pick my calls non reply my message and i love him so much, i have been
looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but
he did not come back, until i met a friend that told me about Dr.PETER a very powerful,real and genuine online spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband within 48 hours. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him Now i will advice any serious
persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now for a
fast solution without stress. contact him now via email [email protected] or CALL/WHATSAPP via +1(321)754-0649 you can also know more about him via his website http://magnificentspellcast.website2.me or his blog http://magnificentspellcast11.blogspot.com and get your problems over.

Thu, March 14, 2019 @ 8:09 PM

26. Rebecca Lopez wrote:
Rebecca Lopez is my name. I am one of the persons that have benefited from Dr Isikolo Love Spell. Dr Isikolo appeared in the middle of my life when all hope was lost. I gave up on life and thought the best way to cure my broken heart was to take my life after I tried several processes and traveled to India seeking for spell to reunite with my husband who dumped me after three years of our marriage for another lady but none of my effort worked. I made up my mind to continue with my suicide plan before a strange spirit came over me like a rain and ministered to me to search online after seeing so much talks about Dr Isikolo Love Spell Temple. I reluctantly searched and found amazing testimonies and recommendations about him which encouraged me to contact him via his email. He replied and asked me to wipe away my tears and quit any act to take my life; he said that my case is solvable after consulting his Oracle. Well, here I am today thanking Dr Isikolo for saving my life and bringing back my Husband. We are so happy today and happier than we have ever been. I am so grateful for being among the people sharing this testimony His email: [email protected] or Whatsapp him on +2348133261196

Tue, March 19, 2019 @ 3:44 PM

27. Clara James wrote:
GREAT LOVE SPELL CASTER PRIEST WISDOM THAT HELP ME SAVE MY RELATIONSHIP.TEXT OR ADD HIM UP ON WHATSAPP: +2348124644470

My name is CLARA JAMES .i want to give thanks to PRIEST WISDOM for bringing back my ex husband.No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Trust is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person,It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he brake up with me again.I was confuse and do not no what to do again,rather them to get in contact with PRIEST WISDOM . He did a love spell that make my husband come back to me. we are now very much happy with our self. PRIEST WISDOM make him to realize how much we love and need each other.This man is for REAL and for good.he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well,in our love life.contact email [email protected] or his web page http://supernaturalspell1.blogspot.com/ text or add him up on whatsApp at: +2348124644470 ...//

Tue, March 19, 2019 @ 8:55 PM

28. Natasha Wanderly form USA wrote:
heal from broken heart" Love spell from dr.Unity brought my husband back"contact [email protected] to help you get your Ex lover back urgently after breakup/divorce"
After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he could come back to me, I was really worried and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 11hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity is real spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your ex lover back or save your marriage fast. Do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster Dr.Unity now. Here’s his contact: Call/WhatsApp him: +2348071622464 ,Email him at: [email protected] , Website:https://unityspelltemples.blogspot.com ,Your kindness will never be forgotten.

Natasha Wanderly form USA.

Fri, March 22, 2019 @ 9:13 PM

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