Everything listed under: communication

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    7 Ways To Respect Each Other’s Spirituality

    I grew up in a family where differences in faith and religious practice caused a lot of heartache and pain. My Dad, having been badly hurt by the faith community, wanted nothing to do with church, God or people who called themselves people of faith. My Mom, on the other hand, survived life’s hardships through her strong faith. You can see right away that this was headed for trouble. We are now approaching the celebrations of Chanukah (or Hanukkah) and Christmas. Although much...  Read More...

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    5 Principles For Making Fights More Productive

    We’ve all done it, pick a fight over nothing. Be it from a lack of sleep, being “hangry” or simply having too much stress can result in us being grumpy.These moments can lead to hurtful and unproductive fights.So, how do we know when it’s time to drop something and when it’s time to start a tough conversation?Here’s an interesting article on what young couples are fighting about, and how important these fights can be: "9 Fights Every 20-Something Couple Has That Actually Prove You're Healthy"&nb...  Read More...

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    Emotional Intelligence for Couples: Part 5 Managing Stress

    Today is the last in our mini-series on emotional intelligence for couples. All of the separate skills we have talked about matter but today’s topic relates to overall well-being in critical ways. Today we talk about how well you are managing stress. We all know that when we are too stressed and not coping well, little else seems to matter.   Read More...

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    Emotional Intelligence for Couples: Part 4 Decision Making

    If you have been following along recently, this is blog 4 of 5 on emotional intelligence for couples. (The model is from https://www.mhs.com/MHS-Talent?prodname=eq2 - Individual assessments and couple work is available if that appeals.) If you are getting the feeling that great, healthy, lasting life partnerships don’t just happen then I have done my job! Today’s sub-section in the broad topic of emotional intelligence is decision-making. This topic likely represents one of...  Read More...

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    Emotional Intelligence for Couples: Part 3 Interpersonal

    As part of our 5-part series on EQi for couples, today we turn our emotional intelligence focus to relationships, very specifically. 1. Trust & CompassionThe first of today’s three scales is specifically our ability to create and keep healthy relationships. The Bar-On EQi tool defines this aspect of intelligence as being able to have “mutually satisfying relationships that are characterized by trust and compassion”. In order for this to happen we, as partners need to be able to be ...  Read More...

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    Emotional Intelligence for Couples: Part 2 Self-Expression

    Last time, in our mini-series on EQi for couples, we covered how we see ourselves*. Today we look at the next three sub-scales in the Multi-Health Systems Inc. model.   Read More...

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    7 Life Skills That'll Improve Your Career & Love Life SIMULTANEOUSLY

    7 Life Skills That'll Improve Your Career & Love Life SIMULTANEOUSLY. It's totally doable!For 12 years now I have been coaching business leaders and executives (Capacity Building Coaching) to provide leadership development for companies in the form of certificate programs, seminars, coaching skills training and retreats. Even though I teach at primarily business seminars, I've been told that much of the information I provide not only helps in the executives' careers, but also in their love l...  Read More...

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    Money Honey

    Money, how we make it, when and where we spend it and how we save it - all of these are daily decisions and all of them can cause stress and conflict in relationships.How big a problem can this be? This quote with references cited puts it in perspective:“You are sharing a life, a home and your pocketbook with your significant other, and maybe even some kids. Among all of the things you could fight about with your significant other, financial disagreements are a major source of strife in many rel...  Read More...

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    How To Strengthen Your Relationship Through Laughter

    Recently I was in line at a checkout and couldn’t resist a magazine. The whole magazine is about laughter.How much have you been laughing lately?How often do you laugh yourselves silly as a couple?There are so many great articles out there on the benefits, physical and emotional, to laughing. Here’s an example: The Health Benefits of Humor and Laughter I sure know that what makes Bill laugh doesn’t always make me laugh and vice-versa.   Read More...

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    Highly Effective Couples

    Obviously “highly effective” is not what we aim for when thinking about our partner. This is business language “highly effective team”, etc. Let’s steal from business ideas though, again, for our relationships.A common team building activity is to make use of personality or behavioral style assessments and share results with each other.   Read More...

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    5 Ways To Support Each Other’s Dreams

    So, I’m sitting on a plane talking with this very inspiring young man. What a great chance to ask “what do you think couples need support with?”. As a coach, I love his answer.   Read More...

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    5 Critical Elements For Conflict Resolution

    You know when you’ve goofed up and all you want to do is get out of the doghouse. What next?I sure did not grow up watching great conflict resolution. Quite the opposite.   Read More...

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    Helping Each Other Through Stresses

    Often in life the people closest to us know how stressed we are before we do. The ironic part about stress is that often our own reaction to stress causes more stress than the original stressor.There are unlimited ways to react to stress and there are unlimited causes of stress. That being said there are some basic principles that we can get to.Let’s start with some common reactions to being stressed:Withdrawing from other - emotionally, socially, physicallyBecoming hyper-focused and drivenBecom...  Read More...

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    6 Practices To Safeguard Your Relationship

    Life is good! You are in love, your relationship is not work, it just flows and spending time together is easy. You are living with your best friend.I hope this all reads true for you, but keeping this or getting back to this is not all easy.What comes easy when we are falling in love takes work and intention as our relationship ages and life gets busy.What are some practices and habits that can protect or re-enliven your relationship as the years pass by?1) Date Night: There is the good old sta...  Read More...

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    To Advise or Not to Advise

    It is one of the most natural things in the world - to tell someone else what we think they should do.We do it out of love, out of concern, because we like to help, sometimes because it makes us feel good, creates a bit of a dependence or respect with the other party. Sometimes we simply want the other person to do things our way.We have many reasons, both good and not so good for giving advice.Usually, nowhere is easier to slip in to this mode than with our life partner.Advice and being told wh...  Read More...

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    The Art of Intimacy

    Some of us immediately think sex when we hear the word intimacy but it is so much more. Intimacy is about close, safe, nurturing connection. It includes physical, emotional and spiritual connection. Intimacy at it’s strongest includes all three. Today’s blog is a collaboration with Canadian, Toronto-based artist Veronica Blanco.   Read More...

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    4 Ways To Inject Humor Into Difficult Conversations

    Laughter Really is Medicinal!Communication is a word we hear so often - lack of good communication is to blame for many issues - in our businesses, in our country, and, in our homes.Obviously, one blog isn’t going to fix that but let’s zero in on one piece of it to contemplate.When something is bothering us about our partner we make choices about how we are going to deal with it:• Put up with it (until it becomes too frustrating)• Say something sarcastic• Get even&bull...  Read More...

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    The Power of Celebration in Relationship

    Frequently my kids tease me for an “overuse” of the word “fun”. However, the truth is that I have practiced seeing the good and finding cause to celebrate.There is a lot of science behind the benefits of celebration - both for brain chemistry science and psychological benefits. This is a great little article on the benefits of celebration (click the picture to bring you to the article): Sadly, many people find it really hard to celebrate their own successes.   Read More...

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    The Five Love Languages

    The idea that we hear love and speak love in different ways has been made widely popular and very accessible by the work of Gary Chapman. I highly recommend his book, in fact I give it to all the young couples in our family. This link will take you to a site where you can take the assessment (just takes about 5 minutes) to see what your top love languages are. https://marriageresourcecentre.org/2013/05/03/featured-resource-five-love-languages/Understanding love languages has 2 big impl...  Read More...

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    Judging or Critical Thinking for Couples

    It can feel like semantics when we approach this topic. Judging, criticizing, evaluating. What are the real differences? This topic is very real in our everyday relationships and since my goal is not connected to our use of language but our use of compassion and honesty I'm not going to focus on nuances. There is a fine line between taking an honest inventory of our feelings about someone else and judging them.   Read More...

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