Life is good! You are in love, your relationship is not work, it just flows and spending time together is easy. You are living with your best friend.I hope this all reads true for you, but keeping this or getting back to this is not all easy.What comes easy when we are falling in love takes work and intention as our relationship ages and life gets busy.What are some practices and habits that can protect or re-enliven your relationship as the years pass by?1) Date Night: There is the good old sta...  Read More...

It is one of the most natural things in the world - to tell someone else what we think they should do.We do it out of love, out of concern, because we like to help, sometimes because it makes us feel good, creates a bit of a dependence or respect with the other party. Sometimes we simply want the other person to do things our way.We have many reasons, both good and not so good for giving advice.Usually, nowhere is easier to slip in to this mode than with our life partner.Advice and being told wh...  Read More...

Some of us immediately think sex when we hear the word intimacy but it is so much more. Intimacy is about close, safe, nurturing connection. It includes physical, emotional and spiritual connection. Intimacy at it’s strongest includes all three. Today’s blog is a collaboration with Canadian, Toronto-based artist Veronica Blanco.   Read More...

We’ve all done it. We’ve all made sure that someone else knows that a problem was most definitely caused by them.As Brené Brown puts it: Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain.Blame may relieve some emotional discomfort short term but it is not productive in the long-term or in any other way. It leads to disconnection and what we long for, what we need for well-being is deep healthy connection.So what are the options?Let’s talk about a great foundation for dealing with frustratio...  Read More...

Some things we all have the same answer to. “Do you want to be happy?” is one of those questions. We all want happiness.   Read More...

Recently, during a lunch with a very ‘coach-like’ friend of mine I got to hear my husband answer her very creative question.“How have you changed since you got married to each other 8 years ago?”I think Bill’s answer gives us the best goal posts possible for lasting emotional intimacy.He said: ‘Well, I’ve learned how to be loved, how to let myself be loved, and I’ve learned to love myself better.’Wow.I have to tell you, being married to someo...  Read More...

It’s almost February. You know what that means. Valentine’s Day is not far away.Some of you are likely dreading it.   Read More...

There is a powerful force at work in many of our lives and it brings damage to many relationships. Shame. If you are living life through a lens of shame it WILL negatively impact your relationship!Let’s define it in really practical terms, then look at how it affects our partnerships.Shame is the thinking and feeling that we have when we see ourselves as ‘less than’ or inadequate in some way.   Read More...

So often we think of counseling as appropriate for when something is broken or in crisis. This is not the case with pre-marital counseling or coaching.So, for starters, what is pre-marital? It comes in many forms - it may be classes you take with a few other couples, either through an organization that specializes in this or through a faith community.   Read More...

You may not be that couple that wears matching pajamas and jackets but you love how much you think alike. Maybe you are that couple that proves that “opposites attract”. Wherever you are on that spectrum there are some important principles to consider.In Psychology we talk about this continuum using words like: independence, co-dependence, inter-dependence, enmeshment, emotional abandonment, etc.How much alike or different we are from our partner is really not the issue.   Read More...

If you do a search on the positive impacts of spirituality, a long list of articles - scholarly and otherwise, will come up. The benefits are numerous. This time of year has many special days for many faith traditions and even spiritual reminders like Thanksgiving, regardless of your religious choices.The family I grew up in offered me stark contrasts in both faith and spirituality beliefs.   Read More...